


Rumblings of the Apocalypse

by Betray802



Category: G. I. Joe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-02
Updated: 2012-11-02
Packaged: 2017-11-17 15:10:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/552919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Betray802/pseuds/Betray802
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written by a Yankees fan, after the 2004 ALCS.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rumblings of the Apocalypse

Lady Jaye, Doc, Cutter and Barbecue laughed as they clinked the longnecks of their freshly opened Sam Adamses together. Zap and Heavy Metal were howling some nonsense about the Red Sox bats being corked and the Yankees pitchers having been drugged, while Tunnel Rat had simply collapsed in a sobbing heap on the floor. Airtight let loose with a foul curse, barked at Ace to stop laughing, and stomped out of the rec room, muttering something about finding a sympathetic pilot he could bribe to bomb Fenway Park off the face of the Earth.

 

Hawk shook his head. Sometimes he honestly didn't know whether he was leading an elite antiterrorist strike force ... or riding herd on a bunch of overgrown kindergarteners. And that was probably insulting most kindergarteners. He opened his eyes to see Law, Wild Bill and Iceberg trading level-eyed looks with Duke, while Falcon tried to act like he was invisible. The NLDS games had gotten Falcon in enough trouble. And the fact that the baseball playoffs overlapped the first two months of football season just made it all worse. As for his own beloved Denver Broncos, all Hawk could say for the matter was that there were times when Rank _Sure As Hell_ Hath Its Privileges.

 

Perhaps the hockey lockout wasn't the worst thing to happen this year after all. Sure, he wasn't looking forward to nine months with no Colorado Avalanche, but he'd faced worse situations. The lack of hockey would certainly make Doc and Lifeline's lives a bit quieter, at least until basketball kicked in.

 

From over by the pool table came an angry North Carolina snarl. "An' if Big Dale woulda said it, nobody woulda said nuthin'! But no thanks t'Prince Jeffy, th' danged _'soccer momma's'_ done found it, an' now we gotta whitewash it all up nice an' purty, so's nobody gets their bloomers in a bunch tha' it all got started with a bunch a' good ol' boys runnin' ‘shine down outta th' hills!"   

 

Footloose's voice tangled with Dusty's, as Falcon found a way out of the brewing throwdown between the Texas Joes and his Cardinals-loving brother. He shot off the couch like his beret was on fire and his BDU pants were catching and crossed the room to help Cross-Country defend Dale Earnhardt, Jr.'s honor. Jinx hopped on his back as he passed her, but it was something like a Chihuahua trying to stop a Rottweiler. The available ammunition was hardly adequate for the battle.

 

Keel-Haul chuckled as he drained his MGD. "It never ends, does it, Clay?"

 

Hawk groaned. "At least here I can send them into town, or home on leave or find _something_ for them to do to distract them. You've got 6,000 people trapped for six months out in the middle of the ocean on the same big gray steel tub." Keel-Haul smirked as he rummaged around the detritus on the coffee table, looking to see if there were any chips and salsa left still worth bothering with. "Come on, Everett.  Don't tell me you've never been tempted to make someone take a long walk off the fantail."

 

"Never? Try always. An admiral's best friend is the brig. And the threat of having to holystone the flight deck is always a great deterrent." Finding what he'd been searching for, Keel-Haul sat back as Bazooka called up the program guide and started scanning for something else to watch. Torpedo, Deep-Six and Wet Suit ordered “Freeze," in unison as they saw _'Navy SEALs'_ come up on the screen. Keel-Haul gave Hawk a sidelong glance. 

 

"Now then, about our standing bet regarding a certain college football game in December. Seeing as how I cleaned out all the Zoomies again this year and your boys aren't showing me anything, would you care to raise the stakes?" 

 

Flipping Keel-Haul the bird, Hawk raised his Coors Extra Gold and uttered two words. "Notre Dame."


End file.
